Struggling Between Personal Values and Family Expectations on Food

Balancing Health, Gratitude, and Cultural Differences

image of elly

Struggling with My Values and My Auntie’s Expectations

This goes against my current values, but my auntie really wants me to eat a lot of meat and rice.

Changes in My Eating Habits

Before I started living with her, I was already vegetarian and ate a lot of rice with my cousin. But now that my cousin has moved away, she still cooks a lot of rice, expecting me to finish all of it in one sitting.

Understanding My Limits with Rice

I admit I can eat a lot of rice—I used to love it. But after reading research showing that too much rice isn’t good for health and having many conversations with diabetic people about their struggles, I decided to regulate myself. Plus, if I eat too much rice, I feel sleepy in no time due to the sudden spike and fluctuation of sugar levels. I can personally confirm this because sometimes I don’t eat until early afternoon, and when I do, I can feel the effects.

Processed Foods vs. My Values

Now, eating canned meat, processed foods, and other heavily seasoned dishes is completely against my values. But my auntie promotes them as "delicious food." I’ve told her multiple times that "delicious" does not equal "nutritious." Even though I rarely eat them, I know they can trigger cravings, which I’m very cautious about. She wants me to eat like others—processed food, meat, salty, flavorful dishes—because she believes that’s what I would enjoy.

Standing by My Beliefs

But for me, disciplining myself and building a better version of me is more important. I’ve already put my body through enough. Now, I eat a lot of meat because my auntie cooks it, and my role is to eat it and save the "piece of shame" that no one wants to eat because it's the last one, a common habit in Filipino culture —otherwise, it’ll go to waste. Even if it’s too salty for my taste, I eat it because she wants me to adapt to her way of cooking. She doesn’t like my preferred cooking style or taste - bland food.

Balancing Gratitude and Staying True to Myself

That said, none of this will ruin my values. I live and eat for free because of her, and honestly, I’m grateful for it. I don’t want her to feel like I’m completely against her. I’ll sacrifice for a while to show my appreciation for her care. It’s not that I’m against it entirely—I just don’t align with it. If she did the same for my cousins, I’d be really happy for them because they would love it—it’s their taste.

But as for me, I’ll stick to my values because I believe they will help me build a healthier and better life.

Finding Peace with My Choices

Bland or flavorful food, as long as it's homemade and in line with my principles—that’s what I truly prefer. But for now, I’ll endure, take what comes my way, and at least be grateful that I have enough.

Created

  • Mon Feb 17 2025
  • self control

    food conflict

    healthy eating

    dietary values

    family expectations

    processed food

    vegetarianism

    cultural differences

    nutrition

    self-discipline

    gratitude

    Back on Top

    If you have any questions or feedback about this article feel free to email me here. Have a great day!

    More on CHALLENGES

      © 2024 Elly Mar